Over the years I’ve been looked at some relationships
through a lens of yes I know you but dare I care? People enter your life at
different points; some stay, some go, and some go in and out for seasons at a
time. I will explore my thought process of three, which I call “un-resurrect-able”.
The family member who asked a question of me, “Why don’t you
like my mother?” And my response was, “It is not that I don’t like your mother,
I don’t have any thought about her.” With this response there was silence.
Well, my thought is don’t ask if you don’t want an honest answer. I am most definitely
not that person who shall lie about my thoughts, especially when it pertains to
relationships. Because I believe in most case they really don’t want to hear
the “Real Reason” and what to relish in the lie about “the feel good” of
pretending there isn’t an elephant in the room. Okay you say, how did we get to
this point? This is how the relationship progressed to this nix-return point. Over
the years I’ve keep the relationship going with seasonal expressions through
cards, calls, etc. The response I have received are no return calls, cannot
remember me nor others except their mother on an annual Mother’s Day call. Then
profess to me to my face, “I love you” when your interactions or shall I say
lack there of interaction says the opposite.
There are times being in a so-called “relationship” with someone
can led to numb end. For example, I’d been in a relationship with this person
we had hit it off extremely well from the start. Then one day when I was faced
with a life challenge with a person in my family and this person entered my
family members hospital room and I looked at them and all I could think of was,
“What was I thinking?” Well, the conclusion behind that thought was, clear I
wasn’t thinking because if I had I would not have had that thought.
And finally, this individual we had worked together, been on
vacations together, laugh and talked over the years. But then I noticed that
when they had had life threatening challenges I walked, corresponded, talked
them though their journey. Yet when the tide had turned the genuine intent of
this person was exposed. The lies of “I called you” and they didn’t, miss
commitments continually, and thoughtless return of items in subpar condition
resulted in me ending the affiliation. It was so bad that I actually had to
state to this person, “We are no longer friends.” And their response was,
“Well, no matter what you say we will always be friends.” My thought at this
point was and still is, uhhh I don’t think so.
Relationships don’t always have a fairly tale ending, nor
should they. They are real and show the human nature of people. No one is alike
or we would be boring. But all of them teach lessons of life of interaction.
Some of these departures I term as refuse being taken out. Some I’ve taken out
and they’ve attempted to resurrect themselves and some have walked to the can
on their own. Either way I look at it all as a learning experience. Either way
these relationships will never be resurrected, I am unapologetic for not allowing
others to use me and have reached that point of no return. BAM!
