Gift Expression

I have often thought about gift giving. To me it is important, the thought that goes into presenting someone with a token of appreciation. Not the visceral duty of “I have to get someone a gift.” It is, well for me anyways, a manner in which I tell the recipient how much they matter to me. And over the years I have found most people just give something to appease them selves with well…”I gave them something.” Should gift giving matter? Let’s take look at its phycology and origins.

Giving a gift is a universal way to show interest, appreciation, and gratitude, as well as strengthen bonds with others, sources say. “There is the whole act — determining what needs to be given and making sure it fits with the person,” says Devin A. Byrd, Ph.D., associate professor and chair of the Department of Behavioral Sciences at South University — Savannah. “There is an emotional lift when searching for the gift.” http://source.southuniversity.edu/the-psychology-behind-giftgiving-61911.aspx (retrieved December 28, 2015) Gift exchanges can reveal how people think about others, what they value and enjoy, and how they build and maintain relationships. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/12/141222111553.htm (Retrieved December 28, 2015) Anthropologists, psychologists, marketers, and economists all agree that gift giving is an integral-land important part of human behavior. … The practice of giving presents is one that is evident in human history. In many ancient tribes all over the world, it is done to celebrate births, deaths, unions, and life in general. Even in the government, it is one thing that has been done for thousands of years already. Diplomatic presents in the past would often involve animals, among other items that are as weird as they are interesting. King Nebuchadnezzar supposedly gave the Hanging Garden of Babylon as a present to his wife who was sick at that time. In many historical accounts, many have also recounted how men were naturally generous in order to attract women that they liked. … Gift giving is also an effective form of communication. It symbolizes the message you would want to relay to the recipient. http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1242168 (retrieved December 28, 2015)

Yes, gift giving is an integral part of human interaction. Unfortunately, I hold a relatively high standard of thought in my gift giving process. I think, the color they like, something they need but may not necessary buy for themselves, something that they’ve mentioned that they like, card for event, place, store that they frequently patronize. To me it is a thought thoughtful process.

Most recently I’ve found out that you can find out your “pecking order” in the person’s relationship where as if they are paying attention to your likes or dislikes. For example the people they care for they give them exactly what they want but for the “duty” gift relationship person they just give them anything to say I gave them a gift. To me this is sad, so very sad. But it does shows where one stands in the relationship. We are taught to treat others as we want to be treated but unfortunately it doesn’t work both ways.

So yes I will continue to give willingly with thoughtfulness and pray for the people who give me the duty gift. At some point this may mean reevaluating the relationship.  Or... do we really have on? And on that note, I’ll just have to smile, laugh, and keep it moving. :>)