The
longer that I live the more I realize that our lives are intertwined for a
reason. These entanglements can only be called amazing. Astounding because we have a choice to find lessons,
wisdom and understanding through these life interactions. This morning I was
drawn to two relationships both where between husbands and wives in turmoil,
that in one, case was toxic until death. What I realized today, when I thought
of these situations, were they both happened around the same time, and I
imposed warning to both women.
Looking
at the first case it was a relationship developed because the woman was a
neighbor of mine in the same apartment building in a large suburban complex. We
often passed each other and exchanged pleasantries. Even so, this one Saturday
we struck up a conversation, and I was talking to her in her apartment. At this
time, she and her husband were separated (as was I). She then told me that she
had been to court, and her husband had told the judge that he didn’t believe
that their son (a toddler at the time) was his.
When
she told me what her husband had stated in court I was taken aback and
appalled. The reason for my astonishment was because her son looked like her
husband had given birth to him. I would say her husband could have literally spat
the child out. At this point, I said to myself, I would be through with him if
he was my husband. Our conversation continued, and she indicated that she and
her husband had had physical fights. This is when I told her that as mild
manner as my husband is I would never put myself in a situation that could put
me in harm’s way. Because what I’ve found is that even if a man is in the wrong
in the relationship, if they cannot have you, they don’t want you to have
anyone else. Furthermore, I told her if a man hits you once they will do it
again.
Months
later the woman and her son moved but some time later the three (husband, wife,
son) moved back to the complex with their new daughter. We talked in passing
and a few months later I moved into a new home in another suburb. A few weeks
after I had moved one of the other neighbors in the apartment building called
me with horrific news. She indicated that one Friday night the wife was late
coming home from work and when she arrived home, her husband had proceeded to
beat his wife. The husband was now in jail.
About
a year later the beaten woman who is now divorced from her husband contacted me,
and I went to visit her at her new residence. As we talked, she told me about
the beating incident. She had arrived home late from work because she had
stopped at the store to purchase milk for their daughter. When she entered the apartment,
her husband then accused her of cheating a proceeded to beat her. She stated
that every time he hit her our previous conversation came to her recollection.
“If a man hits you once he will hit you again.”
Today
when I think about this interaction with this person, I think about the warning
that had been placed in my heart and spoke by my mouth. We make a choice to
state warnings and to head warnings. This is part of the free will that our
Lord has placed upon us. However, I know that there is someone out there today
that this warning has been expressed. Will you heed?
My
next blog post will continue with the second heeding warnings' circumstances.
To be continued…
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