Blue Dream

 

For several weeks I’ve been contemplating writing this document. A couple of day after my last birthday I had one of the most vivid dreams that I’ve had in quite a long time. So here it goes.

 

The first part started off like I was riding on public bus transportation. It appeared that I was riding on the south bound number 8 bus Halsted. It seems that it stopped to pickup two passengers at the entrance of University of Chicago Circle Campus at the Taylor Street bus stop. The two boarding passengers appeared to be students a young man & woman. They appeared to be most likely in a boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship, they were arguing about something but I couldn’t ascertain what they were arguing about.

 

The bus wasn’t a model that is presently used. I looked around and I didn’t see any individual windows. What I saw was like a surround sound like view of all-around the bus’s exterior. As I look towards the back, I saw this enormous blue wave headed toward the bus. Like this wave was going to engulf the bus. Once the wave hit the bus the wave became white snow, causing me to wake up.

 

Weeks have passed and I’ve attempted to make sense of the dream. The climate of American politics has come to the forefront of my thoughts. The arguing, divisiveness, lies flowing like hurricane seeking destruction, hate, greed, downright evil is attempting to destroy this country’s democracy.  

 

This dream has given me hope that blue has a significance in the survival of For the people, By the people. Not a society for the wealthy at the expense of many.

Replacement

 

The word replacement is being thrown around as a tactic of a call to awareness for many sitting on the thrones in society who oversee social, political, economic, governmental & business arenas. It appears that this dog whistle is a battle cry of the us against the “others”. American and other nations have gabbled with the fear of “others” for an infinite amount of time. The thought that one is better than the other simply because of their race is that persistent pimple that raises it head time and time again.

 

Until the root, which is fear is extinguished, there will never be a society that is cohesive & progressive for all people. But maybe that is the point, there isn’t a REAL desire for cohesiveness nor progression. To have a shared body that works together someone may just have to give a little more than they are willing to give. This is so often the reasons that regulations, union, governmental bodies have had to be established.

 

Just think, if all arenas looked out for all entities that pertain to the success of their establishments, by providing safe & qualitative aspects (shareholders, partners & workers), most likely regulation wouldn’t be needed. However, this seems futile seemingly because those at the top see their slice smaller and that they are giving up too much to the lower ranks of society. In other words, profit, just plain greed, or fear that the less than may just get just a bit bigger slice of the pie or advance on the rung of success.

 

This fear of the “other” be it poor, depraved, racial or orientation is an acknowledgement that those in charge know that they have not treated others with respect and dignity. This awareness is the underlying motivator of centuries of oppression. Yes, that fear that knowing that many have not treated the “others” respectfully and the upcoming days are upon them. They shall reap that which they have sown.

 

The replacement theory is based on fear of retribution. This may be consequences long over do or inevitable because of changing societies demographics. Does the WE really mean all or just the upper crust in society? Do we really care for others? Are we all liars and greedy? Do we, do you, do I, care for my/our fellow man or are we all selfish and doomed societies of extinction causing our own demise? Yes, and that mean you too, elitist! Failure because of greed & fear is not sustainable. It leads only to destruction.

 

It's your choice. The I, the me, the one is stagnant. The WE are progressive. Hate is a sinking Titanic. And I’m not boarding that ship.

Self-Awareness

Over the years the term identifies a person as bitter has been unitized to define a person. But as I have lived and learned it is most often use by those who cannot or will not accept their own irrational behavior/s or inability to self-own their own conduct that interfere with the safety or needs of those that they “say” they care for (lip service) or have been undoubtably proven wrong. 

 

Having self-awareness has been my guiding light that allows me to know that the use of words with undertone of those who deflect their own fault by attempting place their own issues onto others. Working in industries, education & having family members with which at all costs will beat or bend others to their will makes awareness necessary.   

 

No one, not no one has walked my walk nor has kept me from growth & to know my worth better than being self-aware has been my trusted companion. Making ones self-righteous of what another deems a flaw by their definition only continues to deflection the misguided analysis of another. Loving the skin, I’ve called self-awareness. Like it, love it, hate it or being indifferent, I heart my self-awareness. 

 

Even He who can when others cannot walked His walk self-aware of that with which He is.

Simplest Gesture

A slight lifted smile filled my lips the morning.  It occurred from a thought of a simple gesture from a friend yesterday. 

 

Yesterday I finally got to visit with a friend’s husband & his family that I hadn’t seen in over eleven years. My friend had passed away a little less than a year ago and her husband in previous conversations since her passing had told me that when he had gone through her belongings that he kept the handmade items that I’d made for her over the years. During this brief visit as in previous conversation he made it a declaration verbally in presence of others is what made the smile come the previous day’s visit. The remembrance of this little act just filled my heart with delight and made me just automatically smile internally and externally.

 

This simple little expression of what my handmade items had meant to her & him just delights me beyond words. So often my personalized knit & crochet items with which I take my time, an element that is as important to me as the person with which I’m making the item for, I feel are discarded without a thought. 

 

The simplest thoughts & acts can make the difference in one’s life & I’m here to rejoice in this memory. I’m hopeful that many will see this and recognize that it doesn’t take a lot of money to bring joy to one another, just a unassuming truthful loving gesture can make the biggest impact.

ORDAINED – ALLOWED : CALLED – CHOSEN

My morning thoughts marveled on four words ordained, allowed, called, and chosen. For many years these four words have come to my thoughts many, many times. Today I shall attempt to bring to the forefront what my revelations on these four words are.

 

I’ll first start with ordained and allowed. In my walk of this life, I see them as counterparts of one another, but I also see them as intertwined. So how could this be, you might say? Different yet related is what I believe. Let me explain. To be ordained is to be called to something specific, I’d say a calling assigned to an exclusive individual or situation. Now let’s look at allowed. It is that which is not necessarily planned but happen anyway. 

 

I contemplated these two words as it pertains to worldly actions, what my faith teachings & spiritual awakening allows me to realize that these two opposites, yet interweaved words pertain to daily life. My confidence in Him working all things out for His glory makes me aware that those things that He has ordained shall come to past no matter the plans of evil. Yet, the evil that is allowed to manifest will be worked out to benefit His glory. 

 

Now let’s move forward to called and chosen. So many times, I’ve heard the saying many are called but few are chosen. I’ve had some say to me I’ve been called by God to do whatever they think that they are to do in His service. My standard response has been the for mentioned statement. From my many contemplations with the Father I’ve come to the conclude that our Father calls many to action but there are some of those called who are special/so specific a message or task they are chosen for a “rubber hits the road moment.”

 

Moreover, as much as these two-on-two words are opposite yet intertwined I have come to think they are more related to one another. Someone or something can be allowed but not ordained and someone or something can be called yet not specify chosen for the most moving/important moments in life. I’m so thankful to Him I have been called to be chosen yet allowed and ordained to His service in His kingdom, though His infinite wisdom by the gifts He has bestowed on me and allowed me to manifest His works here on earth.

I Just Want to Help

Today, this morning as I sit playing a mindless game on my cellphone at 7 am CDT with the ABC News in the background reflecting on the loss of life 20 years ago. I’m thinking of the motives of Americans who just wanting to help each other through this attack on the American people. Yet, I’m reminded of the events of the last 19 months.

 

A worldwide event that affects every human on earth which has been used to divide not unite. 20 years ago, we were of one mind, helping one another. But today we’re divided because during a time when we should be more united that ever, individual rights are perceived to be more important than the heath of the whole.

 

I’m grieved & angry because that which so joined us 20 years ago has been long forgotten, amid a global pandemic. All I can think, all I can say, all I can shout is PUT A MASK ON, GET VACCINATED because I… you just want to help our fellow humans.

What About Is-um

Human nature at its finest, predicable. Yesterday a friend of mine of many years posted to her social media feed what she called an **EMOTIONAL Post – couldn’t help myself**. The ‘just’ about the post was sicken feeling after one of her followers posted the comparison of the preservation of concentration camps to the removal of statues. I knew when I wrote my reply to her post that there would be at least one who post an ‘what about is-um’.

Her post hit home for me. It was like déjà vu. My response was as follow: Bottom line losers don’t get statue. That is everywhere except in the United States. I feel you. Often time I’ve been told when the discussion of slavery comes up, “When are you going to get over it.” My stock answers is & will remain, NEVER. African Americans are always told to get over slavery. No one ever ask Jewish people to get over the Holocaust.” A few weeks ago, I was thanked by one of my friends who is White, for being frank enough to have this conversation with her. She’s lived here the majority of her life & had never gotten citizenship. But since the 2016 election & our conversation she is eager for November 3, 2020 to cast her vote. Keep the faith. Until the American history books stop telling HIS-tory & tells the truth many will not understand why POC have had enough, 400 years is MORE than enough. 

This morning I was not disappointed to awake to a post 8 hours after mine to the ‘what about is-um’. In this reply directed to me was the expression of “don’t forget the Irish slaves…slaves (labor) in China…” Not surprised, I mused at this ‘is-um’.   

The amusement led to the thought, here we go once again. Let’s change the focus on the hundreds of years of injustices of Black to others who have suffered injustice. This is no different than when Black express Black Lives Matter and it is met with the response of All Lives Matters. 

The lack of understanding & the belittling of suffering of 400 years to the point a complete race of people that have no identity. There is a continued consorted effort to minimize rights & ability to thrive. Until those who have “privilege” understand the magnitude of suffering of POC & their contribution to its continuance.  The “privileged’ must gain understanding, truth in HIS-tory, and the ability to have empathy is at the seed of beginning of understanding.  

…My grace is sufficient

This past weekend I was graced to spend a weekend scrapbooking with my Sistahs in Holland, Michigan. It was filled with fun, laughter, moments of ‘what the heck’ and just getting to know each individual a little bit better. The group is eclectic and how our puzzle piece fit together – in this time…in this moment is one of those excursions in my life’s journey. 

This morning I was contemplating some exchanges with an individual. It is this quiet moment of the morning I have come to be aware that this is when my Lord speaks to me though my spirit. The interaction didn’t appear to be overtly concerning but a bit eccentric.  In response to my query of the interactions what spoke to me was, “My grace is sufficient.” Lord I here You and it shall be done.

This life & these interactions with others of different ‘life journeys’ show us the way Lord. Thank you, Lord, for your small voice that forces me to be quite so that I can heard You.

Memorialize

I’ve pondered a rant on social media earlier this week. The person identified it as his 2^ndrant of the week.  Maybe, I’ll explore the earlier rant on my blog at a later time.  Periodically I’ve thought about his rationale that Memorial Day is for those who made the ultimate sacrifice of life in service for America and not the acknowledgement of veterans. They have Veterans Day.

My thought on this matter is anyone who has stamped there posterior ‘Grade A USA Property’ by signing their name to serve deserves to be acknowledged more than once or even two days out of a year. As a US veteran if someone wants to acknowledge my service on Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day, or any other day I’m going to say thank you! Everyday people remember the deceased my doing for the living. They are called memorials, scholarships, donations, and monuments which are acknowledge of this fact.

Matter-of-fact those who died, served, and are serving are the reason your rant is possible. You have the voice to freely express your idea. So, on this Memorial Day weekend I’d like to thank all of those who have chosen to serve for my voice & yours. And I’m going to try to find a way to get in on some of the offers that many businesses are offering this Veteran’s Day to veterans, Gold Star Families, and surviving members family this weekend. THANK YOU for YOUR SERVICE!

Like Me

As I was going about my day after the 4^thweek of Lifeway’s Women’s Bible Study by Jen Wilkin “God of Creation”. This thought would not leave me alone. The Bible has been used for century as a tool of oppression when it tool of freedom.  

It has been used to suppress people of African decent to free servitude and by many to nullify the significance of women is God’s scheme of God’s purpose of humankind. And both are present today just on different levels of previlance.

Once Adam saw Eve, “Then man said. “ This at last is bone of my bones an flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken of Man.”” Genesis 2:23And as Jen Wilkins stated, “Like me.” Both were created in the Creator image “like Him”. They are equal. Neither is above the other. The only one above is the One who was above from the beginning. “In the beginning…” For man is to treat the bone of his bone like himself. Not to lord over his helpmate. Does this mean that the physical attributes are equal? Of course they are not. In the scheme of responsibility of caring for earthy creation they are equivalent.

What saddens me is the motive of difference in human kind is prevalent in the world & in God’s house. This aim binds and keeps people from being all that they can be because I’m better than you, not equal. Leaders squash or take credit for others gifts or ideas God has given and it puts the wrong people in leadership because they can controlled or manipulated for they’re own selfish reasons. This doesn’t bring glory to His purpose nor does it amplify the many things that we have in common. Which is that we are created in His image. Instead it amplifies our differences on the physical level in place of magnifying our sameness with which He created us.

What we are to see is, “LIKE ME”, not I’m better than you because of my physical vessel God has chosen to place me in. We are the same and are to be treated in that sameness. We take care of our body so shall we take care of our helpmate and all of His human creation. Do not suppress what He gave us but give it freedom to be all He called us to be because fellow humans are no less or better than yourself. Later in the creation account and after the act of disobedience of man He gave man ruler ship over woman. Yet, He doesn’t nullify that she is bone mans bone. Man is still bound to treat his mate as he would himself. 

The leader who treats his charges with the respect of himself they willing submit. Wow, what a enlightening idea that was right there in the beginning. 

Fighting the Important Fight

As many might say pick your fight. I’ve often thought about those who want the controversy of which day is the Sabbath. Explaining their belief in their righteous ways and reasoning. I’ve stood back and just pondered the thought of really does it make a difference?

I’ve thought about this question over the years many times. God is there a right day to celebrate your rest from work? I often think of my thoughts about theology as a whole, Lord your righteous people have splinted off into many semblances. The ones who say Saturday and the ones who say Sunday is your choice of the day of rest. I wasn’t there & there wasn’t a calendar or timepiece to definitively set the day.

So as we try to persuade one another of our right-ness I am brought to the time on my daughter’s funeral. Let me clarify this statement. The church I was a member at the time of my child’s death was small so whenever there was a need of a funeral or wedding we utilized a fellow Christian church of a different denomination. The hosting church’s pastor initiated the program and as he started he spoke of my child and had to stop and stated something like, let me stop before I preach her funeral. But the following statement he stated has remained with me always, “In heaven there will not be Baptist or Methodist.” And this is correct. No denominations will be recognized.

So in the scheme of life will it matter which day we choose to rest? I think not. God knows us better than we know ourselves. If our heart matches our actions to serve Him in obedience will the day of the week matter which day we celebrated his creation in rest? I don’t believe so. Now I know many will continue to keep this conversation going but I say to you, Let us fight the important fights…like souls for Him.

The Point of No Return

Over the years I’ve been looked at some relationships through a lens of yes I know you but dare I care? People enter your life at different points; some stay, some go, and some go in and out for seasons at a time. I will explore my thought process of three, which I call “un-resurrect-able”.

The family member who asked a question of me, “Why don’t you like my mother?” And my response was, “It is not that I don’t like your mother, I don’t have any thought about her.” With this response there was silence. Well, my thought is don’t ask if you don’t want an honest answer. I am most definitely not that person who shall lie about my thoughts, especially when it pertains to relationships. Because I believe in most case they really don’t want to hear the “Real Reason” and what to relish in the lie about “the feel good” of pretending there isn’t an elephant in the room. Okay you say, how did we get to this point? This is how the relationship progressed to this nix-return point. Over the years I’ve keep the relationship going with seasonal expressions through cards, calls, etc. The response I have received are no return calls, cannot remember me nor others except their mother on an annual Mother’s Day call. Then profess to me to my face, “I love you” when your interactions or shall I say lack there of interaction says the opposite.

There are times being in a so-called “relationship” with someone can led to numb end. For example, I’d been in a relationship with this person we had hit it off extremely well from the start. Then one day when I was faced with a life challenge with a person in my family and this person entered my family members hospital room and I looked at them and all I could think of was, “What was I thinking?” Well, the conclusion behind that thought was, clear I wasn’t thinking because if I had I would not have had that thought.

And finally, this individual we had worked together, been on vacations together, laugh and talked over the years. But then I noticed that when they had had life threatening challenges I walked, corresponded, talked them though their journey. Yet when the tide had turned the genuine intent of this person was exposed. The lies of “I called you” and they didn’t, miss commitments continually, and thoughtless return of items in subpar condition resulted in me ending the affiliation. It was so bad that I actually had to state to this person, “We are no longer friends.” And their response was, “Well, no matter what you say we will always be friends.” My thought at this point was and still is, uhhh I don’t think so.

Relationships don’t always have a fairly tale ending, nor should they. They are real and show the human nature of people. No one is alike or we would be boring. But all of them teach lessons of life of interaction. Some of these departures I term as refuse being taken out. Some I’ve taken out and they’ve attempted to resurrect themselves and some have walked to the can on their own. Either way I look at it all as a learning experience. Either way these relationships will never be resurrected, I am unapologetic for not allowing others to use me and have reached that point of no return. BAM!

Reflections Towards Anticipation

I am looking back on 2015 and towards 2016 and I see both as they blend into one another. At the end of July 2015 I realized I hadn’t read a single book. And I said to myself this will not do. Since then I’ve read twelve books and look towards completing at least two more before years end. They have inspired, taught me and revealed a lot about myself. I have gained in contemplation of who I am, whose I am, and what I & He wants me to accomplish.

With this realization I’ve had to take some steps to change directions and eliminate anything that is distractive, destructive, not purposeful in me reaching my God ordained destiny. And with this fork-in-the road I have peace. Yet, some deem it as, “You shouldn’t be doing this.” But what do they have in stake in this matter? Oh, they were benefiting from my “pit” syndrome. It suited them fine, but they failed to be self-reflective of their part that they played in this redirection. Yet they didn’t ask directly, why the change? Their focus is not on what is beneficial for my growth or kingdom growth. The emphasis is on what they have lost, but I see it as someone else is going gain from what they have given way.

Yes, the vision board is done. There are tons of books to be read and written. I anticipate growth & blessings beyond gauge-able ability in 2016. Let the festivities begin! Woo Hoo, Hallelujah, praise the Lord and, “The Lord be magnified, Who delights in the prosperity of His servant.” Psalms 35:27b NASB

Gift Expression

I have often thought about gift giving. To me it is important, the thought that goes into presenting someone with a token of appreciation. Not the visceral duty of “I have to get someone a gift.” It is, well for me anyways, a manner in which I tell the recipient how much they matter to me. And over the years I have found most people just give something to appease them selves with well…”I gave them something.” Should gift giving matter? Let’s take look at its phycology and origins.

Giving a gift is a universal way to show interest, appreciation, and gratitude, as well as strengthen bonds with others, sources say. “There is the whole act — determining what needs to be given and making sure it fits with the person,” says Devin A. Byrd, Ph.D., associate professor and chair of the Department of Behavioral Sciences at South University — Savannah. “There is an emotional lift when searching for the gift.” http://source.southuniversity.edu/the-psychology-behind-giftgiving-61911.aspx (retrieved December 28, 2015) Gift exchanges can reveal how people think about others, what they value and enjoy, and how they build and maintain relationships. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/12/141222111553.htm (Retrieved December 28, 2015) Anthropologists, psychologists, marketers, and economists all agree that gift giving is an integral-land important part of human behavior. … The practice of giving presents is one that is evident in human history. In many ancient tribes all over the world, it is done to celebrate births, deaths, unions, and life in general. Even in the government, it is one thing that has been done for thousands of years already. Diplomatic presents in the past would often involve animals, among other items that are as weird as they are interesting. King Nebuchadnezzar supposedly gave the Hanging Garden of Babylon as a present to his wife who was sick at that time. In many historical accounts, many have also recounted how men were naturally generous in order to attract women that they liked. … Gift giving is also an effective form of communication. It symbolizes the message you would want to relay to the recipient. http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1242168 (retrieved December 28, 2015)

Yes, gift giving is an integral part of human interaction. Unfortunately, I hold a relatively high standard of thought in my gift giving process. I think, the color they like, something they need but may not necessary buy for themselves, something that they’ve mentioned that they like, card for event, place, store that they frequently patronize. To me it is a thought thoughtful process.

Most recently I’ve found out that you can find out your “pecking order” in the person’s relationship where as if they are paying attention to your likes or dislikes. For example the people they care for they give them exactly what they want but for the “duty” gift relationship person they just give them anything to say I gave them a gift. To me this is sad, so very sad. But it does shows where one stands in the relationship. We are taught to treat others as we want to be treated but unfortunately it doesn’t work both ways.

So yes I will continue to give willingly with thoughtfulness and pray for the people who give me the duty gift. At some point this may mean reevaluating the relationship.  Or... do we really have on? And on that note, I’ll just have to smile, laugh, and keep it moving. :>)

Tears of Joy

A few days ago in the early evening I was setting in a restaurant with my ear buds in my ears listening to a Podcast.  The cast I was listening to was from Amazing Facts – Bible Answers Live titled Feeding on God’s Word which aired on Saturday, December 19, 2015. Pastors Doug Batchelor and Jëan Ross are the moderators. During the broadcast a caller named Roy listening from New York presented the question, “Do aborted babies wind up in heaven? And who takes cares of them and feeds them?”

When I heard this question posed it peaked my interest. Pastor Batchelor referenced scriptures; the first was in Job 3, where Job cursed the day he was born and questioned would he have been better of being born dead and the other was, Matthew 18:10, “See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.” NASB Pastor Bachelor spoke of there being babies in heaven but the question was will all babies be there. With this in mind Batchelor explained his rational of whether all conceived would be in heaven, but this is not exactly substantive to my thought process at that moment. The area that I was brought to was a conversation I had had with my daughter about her brother who was stillborn.

At around the age of I’d say…ummm…maybe 8 years old she asked me what her brother looked like. And the honest response was I didn’t know. I had not seen him. Now less forward nine years later. After returning from the hospital, on a chilly December afternoon the day of my daughter’s death, a thought pierced my being as I walked from the garage to the house. “She knows what her brother looks like now.” I looked up and the sun just seemed to appear from behind the clouds as confirmation and all I could do was smile. And I am sure this is what carried me through the ceremonial homecoming and burial of my only living child.

As I listened to this broadcast, which just happened to be one day after the anniversary of my daughter’s death, tears just proceed to come. Yes, tears of joy. Knowing that they are together, loving one another, waiting on me to be their mother once again. This truly brings scripture to life, THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENTH, WHOM SHALL I FEAR?